Burglar Lyrics

Here we go now



I'm a villain, I'm a rogue

I'll nick your wallet or garden gnome

I'm a burglar, I'm a cad

An open window, I'm in your home



I'll have your tools or kiddies toys

And I'm not safe, a joy of joys

I'll be the gasman or a toad

I'll have your telly or garden hose



While I'm scoping, in the dark

I'll strap your dog, so he won't bark

I won't disturb, your only dreams

But if you wake up, there's no screams



I'll nick anything removable

From the QE2 to the toilet paper in the houses of parliament

I'll even have the milk off your doorstep

Or the skin off a baby seals back



'Cause I'm a real villain (played backwards)



I'll steal the paper or the milk

Or warn your neighbors or the bill

I'm a stealer, I'm a crook

Read about me in Mich's book



Burglary is a life for me

Burglary is a life for me

People say that crime don't pay

I drink champagne every day



And the good lord said thou shall not steal

There is only one path and that is the straight and narrow

It's a bit too bleeding straight and a bit too narrow for my liking



Ok gov It's a fair cop

Throw on the bracelets

Chink chink oh god I'm nicked



I sentence you to six months...

Take him away