Calvin the Coroner Lyrics

When Calvin was a boy,
there was a lot to comprehend
A high imagination,
but he never had a friend
His father bought the funeral parlor
just around the bend from the Macys
He helped around the basement,
and he swore to never tell
He couldn't stand the bodies,
but he grew to like the smell
Formaldehyde and suicide
are words that came too well
to a young boy (oh boy!)
Every night he spent
telescoping in his room
Watching naughty Audrey,
smoking on the roof
He fell for her from a far,
and someday he'd tell her...
Lady luck, try your hand on me
Fill her dreams with the
quiet boy across the street
Who came undone
Certain things I've seen too young, but...

I'm sure she's seen her share of
blood, guts, and daddy don't care
waiting is so hard to bare...
I'd really like to meet you
But they teach you not to mix
with those (unknowns)
I'd like to get to know you
Like to show you all the things
they don't (and they won't)
I'd simply like to tell you
That you're swell,
and I could take you home (uh-oh!)
I'll be waiting...
Just the other week,
it was a dream come true
Audrey came a-knockin',
said she didn't know what to do
She asked him for a favor,
he said ?anything for you,
Audrey Macy?...