Lyrics to Celebrity X
On the night
That celebrity X
Confesses her love
For celebrity Z
By the dark brooding sea

In a velvet armchair she sits
And from the terrace
Can be seen passing by
Celebrity Y
On Peter Fonda's Harley
That he rides to the sea
With celebrity V

Electrical storm
And the flash of a silver knife
And celebrity U
Is with W's wife
As he leans in for a kiss
On a moonlit precipice
Meanwhile celebrity R's
In a train station bar

And in the bar back mirror
Sees a heartsick celebrity T
And her eyes like a dart
Go straight through his heart

Fast-forward that evening
To the party of celebrity P
Now she's feeding him snails
With her long painted nails

But let us go
To celebrity O
Who is drinking a sherry
With a tall emissary
And he's pressing the keys
And the sad melodies resound
And his eyes
On an artifact fall
Dated sometime between
The mid and late byzantine
He excuses himself
Draws close to the shelf

Now celebrity N
Asks a downcast celebrity M
If her marriage is hell
To celebrity L

While celebrity J
By a fountain of deathly gray
Is watching spiders sashay
With celebrity K

Now the rain is cascading
And the moonlight is fading
And celebrity I
Is out masquerading

Where young supermodels
Are out shooting empty bottles
With celebrity H
By a swan haunted lake

Meanwhile at the mansion
The maid is in search of comet
To clean up the champagne and the vomit
Of celebrity G
Who's just learned of the double death
Of celebrity E and celebrity F

And he falls at the feet
Of oblivious celebrity D
Who's engaged in a debate
On which role he should take

The lead in an adaptation
Of Dostoevsky's The Double
Or a live action
Live action Barney Rubble

Meanwhile
Celebrity C
Is rattled awake
By a monstrous quake

And celebrity B
From a tall balcony descends

A suicide note
Is found in the coat
Of celebrity A
In a dark cabaret

And it's sealed and addressed
To celebrity X