Clowns On Velvet Lyrics

[Basic track:
The Ritz, NYC
November 17, 1981

Steve Vai guitar
Ray White guitar
Tommy Mars keyboards
Bobby Martin keyboards, sax
Scott Thunes bass
Ed Mann percussion
Chad Wackerman drums]

Thing-Fish:
(contd.)

Thass right, folks! We talkin' de hypocritical Jeezis-jerknuh parodise dey call LAS VAGRUS NEVADRUH!

QUENTIN done booked in fo some clandestine recreatium wit a semi-deflateable 'woman of easy virtue' . . . (since dat be 'bouts de onliest kinda bitch be able to tolerate de muthafucker's hair spray!)

Bein' jes' like most de other nasty cocksuckers in de Video-Religium Industry, QUENTIN know a good thing when he see one, an dis ugly rubber waitress look to him like a dream come true . . . specially since his TV WIFE, OPAL, be in de next room drinkin' Jack Daniels 'n puttin' de hurts on some ignint bell-boy.

'Ventchlly when all de plookin' 'n thrashin' be done wif, de bell-boy (who turn out to be de illejiminit son o' de video preacher) gwine take a job at a gas statium in New Jersey . . . an' de blow-up dolly gwine come to life and fall in love wit de junior wimp who's gettin' ready to appear over in de corner deahhh.

Les' meet de lil' cocksucker now, while he's still young . . . 'cause, 'fo y'all knows it, he be reachin' adulthood and marry some bitch name RHONDA . . . 'n, by dat time, he gwine become what dey call an OVER-EDUCATED SHIT-HEAD!