Diary Of A Simp Lyrics

Wet fart, Paul Blart
Got my dick stuck in a shopping cart
Took a shart in K-Mart
Then my god damn car wouldn't start (Ayo Trey, can I get a beat?)

Went to school 'cause I'm cool
I get all A's, jocks aren't tools
I don't play sports, I'm not a fool
I always wear floaties in the swimming pool

Safety first, brought worse
When I'm alone, I like to wear skirts
I hate bullies, they're the worst
They make fun of my Fortnite shirt

Mommy makes me mash my M&M's because she mash my bananas because I'm her special little and she doesn't want me to die, she'll be sad and I don't wanna make her sad
Bed time is 8 o'clock, no exceptions

I donate all my money to my favorite e-girl
It's my favorite thing in the whole wide world
She says she loves me when I pay her bills
And watching her play Minecraft while I rub my dil'

Watching her Twitch stream while I apply my itch cream
My favorite type of popsicles is the orange dreams
Speaking of dream, I just creamed
'Cause I just got an itch on my bean, bean

I call this one the Eminem, mhm

A wam bam, bamble-wa-dam-dam, a wam fam
Bom, bom, bamble-la-dam, da-dam jam
In my booty hole, bam bamel-lam mam
Mommy mommy, ma' ma' ma-bam-bam

Bam bam 'le bam bam
Dam dam, stan stan
Bam bam, bang
Ting tang, hoo kang
Hoo la da bing bang
Bam bam te zan dan
Banana ban, banana boat
Banana boat, banana bed
Banana boat, banana bread
Bam bam te'le dan dam
Ram dam dam te'le dam
Dam dam, go to the dam dam
Rem down, to bo da di
Tim ta doom doom
A ba da di, bam dam
Orange