Donald Trump vs. Ebeneezer Scrooge Lyrics

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
DONALD TRUMP!
VERSUS!
EBENEEZER SCROOGE!
BEGIN!

Trump:
Wake up, Scrooge! Im about to take a Dickens of a dump
On this lonely, homely, little, miserable grump!
Im like the star on a Christmas tree, you're like the stump
Im not known for my heart, but you're still getting trumped!
You remind me of my ex wife in a bikini, because you disgust me
Keep your TB from tiny Timmy away from me, Dont even touch me!
I dont shake hands, I dont make fans
I ruin rappers faster than Scottish Lands!
Even Jay Z knows what a pimp I am
I got my name on the front of the business, man!
My raps'll haunt ya, make you think you're going insane!
You're about to get whooped by 3 MC's of the ethereal plain!
So when the clock strikes, prepare to enter a world of Christmas pain!
Because im out! I got my own Fucking Problems, call me 2 Chainz!

Scrooge:
How dare you disturb me when im napping in my chair!
You're a crappy rap spitting apparition, I aint scared
of this random phantom! Haunt all you want, I dont care!
I do not believe in ghosts and I dont believe that hair!

J.P Morgan:
Dont panic, Scrooge, but you're about to crash!
Im J.P. Morgan! The ghost of rich dude's past!
Who's properly rocking the monopoly mustache
Yo, I own the railroad! I run these tracks!
You got dumped on a bench, now you're pissed at the world
You should have made like Sebastian and kissed the girl
Because your greed is a curse that's gonna tear you apart!
What good is your purse, if you're poor in your heart?

Scrooge:
Bah! Humbug! Your raps dont unnerve me, they're atrocious!
What frightens me the most is your gross ghost proboscis!
Business and success, thats the life i've selected!
So enough with your pictures from the past! Im not affected!

Kanye West:
Well you're about to be, right now!
Im the ghost of what's right now!
AH! Just take a lesson from Yeezy
You're missing the point Ebeneezy
There's more to life than your work, take it easy
Even I can make time for Azizy
Best put some friends on your wishlist
Because you dont know the spirit of Christmas
If you did, then you would at this moment
Be sharing your money with some of the homeless!

Scrooge:
AH! This is maddening agony!
Wait...actually..
Harking back to the dead Donald's lecture
I still am expecting a final specter!

Death:
BOO! (AHHH!) You're gonna die!
With no one to love you and no one to cry!
Alone by yourself on the bed of your death
With the stench of regret on your last dying breath!
Because you've chosen the path of a selfish man
With Tiny Tim's innocent blood on your hands!
The penance you pay for the way you behave
Is written as plain as a name on your grave!

Scrooge:
Are these the shadows of things that will be
Or things that may be, only
If I depart from my course can they change
Say it is thus with what you show me
I promise to mend my ways
A friend to all men is what I will become
It's Christmas! I haven't missed my chance to be different, God bless us every-

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!