Failed Attempts at Facial Hair Lyrics

Last night, I decided it was time to grow up
I didn't shave all weekend and I tried all night, but
All I got was stubble
I thought it looked OK, but when I saw you in the hall,
You looked disgusted, you looked appalled, and
I hoped I was seeing double

You make me so nervous
And I feel like I don't deserve this

I tried to spit out my pride, but the taste remains
My grievances are growing faster than my sweat stains
Under these hot fluorescent lights
They flicker and I stutter as I try to talk to you
You know I'm going nowhere, I do too
I thought a little too much last night

About how nothing matters, but I still try, the summer when I felt alive
Got it all, still feel deprived, cross my heart and hope to die
Turn down the volume inside my head, my hands, they shake, I'm in the red
Chest is tight, it's full of lead, I still remember what she said

"You know I'm not staying
"Because I can't understand what you're saying."

So I'm sorry if I'm quiet and just stare at you
But I'm thinking that I'm staring like lovers do
And this mixtape says it better than I can
It's got Archers of Loaf and Cap'n Jazz
It says that I love you, you can love me back and
And I can be your man

Me and my failed attempts at facial hair
Failed attempts at facial hair
Failed attempts at facial hair
Failed attempts at facial hair
Failed attempts at facial hair
Failed attempts at facial hair, me and my
Failed attempts at facial hair, me and my
Failed attempts at facial hair