Fear. Lyrics

(I don't think I can find a way to make it on this earth)
What's up family, yeah it's yo cousin Carl man, just given' you a call man. I know you been havin' a lot on yo mind lately and I know you feel like ya know people ain't been prayin' for you but you have to understand this man, that we are just people. Deuteronomy 28:28 says, "The Lord shall smite thee with madness, and blindness, and astonishment of heart." See family that's why you feel like you feel like you got a chip on your shoulder. Until you finally get the memo, you will always feel that way...

Why God, why God do I gotta suffer?
Pain in my heart carry burdens full of struggle
Why God, why God do I gotta bleed?
Every stone thrown at you restin' at my feet
Why God, why God do I gotta suffer?
Earth is no more, why don't you burn this mufucka?

Every stone thrown at you restin' at my feet
Why God, why God, do I gotta suffer?
Pain in my heart, carry burden for the struggle
Why God, why God, do I gotta plead?
Every stone thrown at you restin' at my feet
Why God, why God, do I gotta suffer?
Every stone… won't you burn this motherfucker

I beat yo' ass, keep talkin' back
I beat yo' ass, who bought you that?
You stole it, I beat yo' ass if you say that game is broken
I beat yo' ass if you jump on my couch
I beat yo' ass if you walk in this house with tears in your eyes
Runnin' from poopoo and 'prentice
Go back outside, I beat yo' ass, lil nigga
That homework better be finished, I beat yo' ass
Yo' teachers better not be bitchin' 'bout you in class
That pizza better not be wasted, you eat it all
That TV better not be loud if you got it on
Them Jordans better not get dirty when I just bought 'em
Better not hear 'bout you humpin' on Keisha's daughter
Better not hear you got caught up, I beat yo' ass
You better not run to your father, I beat yo' ass
You know my patience runnin' thin
I got beaucoup payments to make
County building's on my ass
Tryna take my food stamps away
I beat yo' ass if you tell them social workers he live here
I beat yo' ass if I beat yo' ass twice and you still here
Seven years old, think you run this house by yourself?
Nigga, you gon' fear me if you don't fear no one else

If I can smoke fear away, I roll that motherfucker up
And then I take two puffs
I'm high now, I'm high now
I'm high now, I'm high now
Life's a bitch, pull them panties to the side now

(Think I can prolly find a way to make it on this earth)
I'll prolly die anonymous
I'll prolly die with promises
I'll prolly die walkin' back home from the candy house
I'll prolly die 'cause these colors are standin' out
I'll prolly die because I ain't know Demarcus was snitchin'
I'll prolly die at these house parties, fuckin' with bitches
I'll prolly die from witnesses leavin' me false accused
I'll prolly die from thinkin' that me and your hood was cool
Or maybe die from pressin' the line, actin' too extra
Or maybe die because these smokers
Are more than desperate
I'll prolly die from one of these bats and blue badges
Body slammed on black and white paint, my bones snappin'
Or maybe die from panic or die from bein' too lax
Or die from waitin' on it, die 'cause I'm movin' too fast
I'll prolly die tryna buy weed at the apartments
I'll prolly die tryna diffuse two homies arguin'
I'll prolly die 'cause that's what you do when you're 17
All worries in a hurry, I wish I controlled things

If I could smoke fear away, I'd roll that mothafucka up
And then I'd take two puffs
I've been hungry all my life
I'm high now, I'm high now
I'm high now, I'm high now
Life's a bitch, pull them panties to the side now, now

When I was 27, I grew accustomed to more fear
Accumulated 10 times over throughout the years
My newfound life made all of me magnified
How many accolades do I need to block denial?
The shock value of my success put bolts in me
All this money, is God playin' a joke on me?
Is it for the moment and will he see me as Job?
Take it from me and leave me worse than I was before?
At 27, my biggest fear was losin' it all
Scared to spend money, had me sleepin' from hall to hall
Scared to go back to Section 8 with my mama stressin'
30 shows a month and I still won't buy me no Lexus
What is an advisor somebody that's holdin' my checks?
Just to fuck me over and put my finances in debt?
I read a case about Rihanna's accountant and wondered
How did the bad girl feel when she looked at them numbers?
The type of shit'll make me flip out
And just kill somethin', drill somethin'
Get ill and fill ratchets with a lil' somethin'
I practiced runnin' from fear, guess I had some good luck
At 27 years old, my biggest fear was bein' judged
How they look at me reflect on myself, my family, my city
What they say 'bout me reveal
If my reputation would miss me
What they see from me
Would trickle down generations in time
What they hear from me
Would make 'em highlight my simplest lines

I'm talkin' fear, fear of losin' creativity
I'm talkin' fear, fear of missin' out on you and me
I'm talkin' fear, fear of losin' loyalty from pride
'cause my DNA won't let me involve in the light of God
I'm talkin' fear, fear that my humbleness is gone
I'm talkin' fear, fear that love ain't livin' here no more
I'm talkin' fear, fear that it's wickedness or weakness
Fear, whatever it is, both is distinctive
Fear, what happens on Earth stays on Earth
And I can't take these feelings
With me so hopefully they disperse
Within fourteen tracks, carried out over wax
Searchin' for resolutions until somebody get back
Fear, what happens on earth stays on earth
And I can't take these feelings with me
So hopefully they disperse
Within fourteen tracks, carried out over wax
Wonderin' if I'm livin' through fear or livin' through rap

Damn
Goddamn you
Goddamn me
Goddamn us
Goddamn we
Goddamn us all

Verse two says you only have I known of all the families of the earth, therefore I will punish you for all your iniquities. So until we come back to these commandments, until you come back to these commandments, we're gonna be in this place, we're gonna be under this curse. Because he said he's gonna punish us, the so-called Blacks, Hispanics, and Native American Indians, are the true children of Israel. We are the Israelites according to the Bible. The children of Israel, he's gonna punish us for our inequities. For our disobedience because we chose to follow other gods that aren't his son, so the Lord thy God chasten you. So just like your children, your own son, he's gonna chastise you because he loves you. So that's why we get chastised, that's why we're in the position we're in. Until we come back to these laws, statutes and commandments, and do what the Lord said, these curses are gonna be upon us. We're gonna be at a lower state in this life that we live here in today, in the United States of America. I love you, son, and I pray for you. God bless you, shalom