Florida Man Lyrics

Should you ever settle down in the Sunshine State
You should know of its tangled fate...
How the conquistador came down to Florida
Long before it had a name
The medicine man of the Seminole
Knelt at the sacred flame
And he cursed the soul of the conquistador
And his son, and his sons, and the young ones
Of the Florida Man

Florida Man - Florida Man - Florida Man

Down at the mall
Where the boas crawl
Ted makes love to a concrete wall
(Florida Man!)

His brother, Red, said his Uncle Ned
Found Elvis in a loaf of bred

High on meth, there's little Beth
The neighbor's cat is on her breath

Dan dreams he's got wings of fire
He's waking' and shaking' on a power wire
Florida Man - Florida Man - Florida Man

Slim sees his face on a moonlit wave
Gets a shovel, digs his own grave

Lee hates plate glass, he drives right through it
Said "Alice's caterpillar made him do it"

A Miami Nurse snatches a purse
Drives down the freeway in reverse

Rip asks the cops to test his drugs
After they find him hiding underneath a rug

Florida Man - Florida Man - Florida Man

Don't you laugh
It could be you
The Seminole curse always comes true
You can jeer but you don't understand
That any fragile soul
Can be a Florida Man