Great Idea For A Song Lyrics

Remember when we used to hold each other close

And gaze so deeply in each others' eyes

Remember how I said I'd never let you go

And how you swore you'd never tell me lies

(You do? Well...)

All I remember is the way you nonchalantly

squashed my heart just like a cockroach on the floor

All I remember is the happiness I felt

the day I finally kicked your skank ass out the door



Remember when you were the best part of my life

The reason I got up to face the day

Remember how you swore you'd always stay by me

And love me for forever, come what may

(You do? Well...)

All I remember is the nights you'd go out drinking

and I'd pray the cops would find you somewhere dead

All I remember is the way that all my dishes

became airborne and flew right into my head



Now please don't think I'm ranting cuz I'm bitter

I've found somebody new and I've moved on

But if only your name rhymed with twisted, psychotic slut

I'd have a great idea for a song



Remember how we used to drive down to the beach

And walk along the seashore hand in hand

Remember how we used to sit and watch the waves

And spell out our initials in the sand

(You do? Well...)

All I remember is the whining and the moaning

and the griping about every little thing

All I remember is how soundly I could sleep

when I dreamt of your lifeless body festering



Now please don't think that this is all just hindsight

I've felt this way about you for so long

And if only your name rhymed with sadistic, lying bitch

I'd have a great idea for a song



Oh, your name...might as well

Rhyme with psycho whore from south of hell

Cuz of all the crap you put me through back then

Oh, if only your mom and dad

Had named you something that rhymed with ?walking, talking maxipad?

Think of all the clever tunes I could have penned



Cuz Becky rhymes with yecky

And Missy rhymes with pissy

And Susie rhymes with floozie

And Patty rhymes with fatty



Elizabeth rhymes with kiss-of-death

And Eleanor rhymes with smelly whore

And Marigold rhymes with hairy-holed

And Lauren rhymes with scorin'



Celia Linda Park rhymes with ?Feel ya in the dark?

Daisy Rhoda York rhymes with ?Easy ho ta pork?

Rhonda Lynn Mae Stutback rhymes with ?Fondlin' my buttcrack?

I'd pay you to change your name to Shelly Hunt



HEY!



Remember when your latest hunk of throbbing meat

Had left you for a tighter piece of ass

Remember when you called me, sobbing on the phone

And begged me to forgive you for your past

(You do? Well...)

All I remember is that lab rats don't push levers

After taking an electric shock or two

I'd rather duct tape a live wire to my groin

than take a death march down memory lane with you



Now please don't think I want to be your friend now

I'd rather see John Goodman in a thong

But if only your name rhymed with back-stabbing heartless tramp

I'd have a great idea for a song

Yes, if only your name rhymed with manipulative conniving whore

I'd have a great idea for a song

Yeah if only your name rhymed with worthless, cheating, worm-ridden, butt-ugly, bile-sucking, skanky, smelly, slutty, waste of flesh, fat and bone that makes me want to donate my entire life savings to NASA in the hopes that someday they'll make a time machine and I can retroactively give your parents a box of condoms

I'd have a great idea for a song.