Hard On The Ticker Lyrics

(Craig Wiseman/Gary Loyd)

I gave up pimento cheese
D-D-Domino's delivery
Whiskey sours
Apple pies
Finger-lickin' chicken fried
Are gastronomic history
I used to like them scary shows
But I gave 'em up a while ago
Don't do no dip-defyin'
Rollercoster ridin'
Now days I just take it slow
Every since we started datin'
I been compensatin'
To keep from gettin' up
To hell any quicker
'Cause

She's hard on the ticker
Hard on the ticker
The girl is such a hazard that she oughta have a sticker
Sayin' hard on the ticker

Now when she wiggles through my door
My chin gets heavy hits the floor
Silky hair garnet lips
Swingin' double-jointed hips
My blood begins to roar
And when she nibbles on me ear
It's partly pleasure partly beer
Little dab is all it takes
To get my heart a palpatatin'
Feelin' like the end is near
I oughta get a policy
A double indemity
It'd make my beneficiary
A whole lot richer
'Cause

She's hard on the ticker
Hard on the ticker
The girl is such a hazard that she oughta have a sticker
Sayin' hard on the ticker

That's my girl
Yeah she's hard on the ticker
I oughta get a policy
A double indemity
It'd make my benificiary
A whole lot richer----

Because she's hard on the ticker
Hard on the ticker
The girl is such a hazard that she oughta have a sticker
Sayin' hard on the ticker

Oh she's hard on the ticker
Hard on the ticker
She's hard on the ticker
Hey she's hard on the ticker