How Many Times Lyrics

I've had enough, and I'm feeling a little beat.
I don't know what the future holds for me.
But I tell myself I don't give a damn
'Cause my life is in pieces and I forgot who I am.

I can't lose myself, kill my pride.
For the things I took for granted at my side
But they still expect me to pay the cost.
Can't keep blaming myself for the love that I've lost.

How many times will I have to go
Through this vicious circle, again and again?
How many times before I know
This road will lead to the same bitter pain?
The sweetness of lies and the sourness of the truth,
Cruel betrayals and love's burning shame,
And/ how many times, from beginning to end,
Will I have to play these silly games?

Because I'm so frail,
They say I'm/ destined for hell
Why then am I so blind
Searching for heaven heaven divine?
Did love's redemption redemption fail?

What's the source source of my strife?
What's the price for my life?
The wrong, the right, a penny, or fortune?
But for me, the lines are blurred
For pain is my portion.