I'm Always Offending My Sensitive Friends Lyrics

I'm always offending my sensitive friends

With my loud lingo-istics and rat-poison pen

When I fly through the air on a cheap chandelier

Crashing down on the party below

What a stupidly great way to go!



Molly, why don't you love me no more?

Remember the good times we had long before?

You with your lemon and me with my spoon

All dressed up like a clown with a big red balloon

You with you hat pin and me in a thong

Doing Disco Forever

Where did we go wrong?



I'm always defending my sensitive friends

For their upright behaviour and uncertain ends

Though the eyes may be blinking

The light never bends

Casting doubt on the depth of the soul

And the flakes never fall from the bowl



Molly, why don't you hold me no more?

Remember the newspaper spread on the floor?

with you and your classifieds

Me with my bag

Stuffed full of sandwiches

You with the rag

Wiping the dust off the keys to the car

Planning your getaway

Scraping the jar



You don't say the words you used to say

And so I'm sad all day



I'm always pretending my sensitive friends

Are the ones who don't like me

And that's where it ends...



The gavel bangs down

The judge says "enough"

The lawyers all turn into clouds

There's a sign posted "no dogs allowed"