Lightning Jazz Lyrics

God came to me in a dream I knew it was God Cause he had a long white beard And a pink striped tunic And the word "God" was spelled out above him And an arrow pointing at his head Well just now it occurs to me He could be a Dog He could be a Dgo He could be a Gdo As in "Waiting for Gadot" But no, no, no, it's spelled "God" The Kaballa is for crazy people, not for me And not, might I be so bold to say Not for God And I said "Hey God" "How's it hangin, tough guy?" He said "Lower yourself before me" I laid down naked on the floor He said "We're on the fourteenth floor" "Can't you get a little lower?" So I got in the elevator and rode to the basement And I laid down naked on the floor It was cold and it was crawly He said "Lower yourself before me" I said "I'm lying naked in the basement floor!" He said "We're at 3000 feet here" So I went to the airport And hopped a flight to Phoenix Which wasn't hard to do Cause every plane flies to Phoenix Even if you're flying from say, New York to Boston You gotta go through Phoenix And when I got to Phoenix I rented me a car, from Budget Rent-a-Car Cause Hertz and Avis and the others Wouldn't rent to me in my nakedness And I rode out to Death Valley And I laid down naked on the floor And I said "Hey God" "How's it hanging tough guy" He said "The age of specialization is over." I said "Excuse me?" He said "The age of specialization is over." I said "Excuse me God, I thought that's what you said. But you sound like a Time Magazine editorial. If I go back to the others and say: I just talked to God And the eleventh commandment includes the word "specialization", We're sunk." And he said "What do you mean, eleventh commandment? There were only eight, right?" I said "Ten, God, ten. You gave Moses ten commandments." God said "Scuse me, I outta know. I only gave him eight." I said "Well, I guess he added two more on his own." And God seethed, and thunder and lightning crashed the heavens. And God said, "At least I hope he didn't change the ones I gave him. Like the one about the moose." I said, "The one about the moose?" He said "Yeah, you know, 'Thou shalt not be mean to a moose'". I said "Oh yeah, of course, commandment six, about the moose." And I thought, now there's chutzpa I'm here lying to the Lord. And I thought, well yeah, whatever, no one's perfect Besides, I dont need that lightning jazz, While I'm naked in the desert. So I said "No more specilization, eh?" He said "Yes, thats right. Everybody can drive, and everyone can cook Everyone can paint, and everyone can sing And everyone can dance, and everyone can love... I said "Hold on there buddy. Sounds like a nation of dilettantes you want. He said "That is correct. Everybody should do everything." I shrugged my shoulders and said "OK, I'll tell em." But he tapped me on the shoulder and said "One more thing." And I said "Yeah, what is it?" And he made me stand up, and he gave me some underwear. And he whispered in my ear "The best, the best, the best, the best is yet to come The best, the best, the best is yet to come The best, the best, the best is yet to come" And I said "Hey God"