Men With Beards (What Are They Hiding?) Lyrics

Men with beards, what are they hiding?
Could I handle the truth if they chose me to confide in?
Or would my dead body be found down a railway siding
Where I'd been murdered by a man with a beard
Where I'd been murdered by a man with a beard

You can't work out what they're thinking in their face
Because they've got hair growing all over the place
You can't tell what they're up to, maybe it's best not to know
Perhaps they're full of hair up here
But they've got none down below?
Do they put porno mags in the bushes in the woods?
Do they interfere with kids
And make them say 'Thank you' afterwards?
Do they hang around in parks and wait till after dark
Jump out of the bushes and then fuck you for a lark?

Men with beards, what are they concealing?
That facial fuzz gives me an uneasy feeling
But they'll hide my dismembered corpse up in the ceiling
Where I've been butchered by a man with a beard
Where I've been butchered by a man with a beard

Shipman, Bin Laden, Stilgoe, Haystacks
They were all hiding something and that's an actual fact
'Whispering' Bob Harris - why was his voice so soft?
Had he murdered a prositute up in his loft?
Now, Peter Sutcliffe, the Yorkshire Ripper
He avoided the use of a razor or clipper
They've all got a secret, don't think that they ain't
It could be something as simple as a skin complaint

Men with beards, what are they obscuring?
They all seem so confident and so assuring
But to some waste ground you they'll be alluring
Where you'll be bludgeoned by a man with a beard
Where you'll be bludgeoned by a man with a beard

(Watch out for men with beards!)