Moving To Florida Lyrics

I-I'm gonna move down to Florida.
And I'm gonna bowl me a-a perfect game.
I'm gon' cut off my leg down in Florida.
And I'm gonna dance one-legged off in the rain.

Well they say that Sidney Poitier was a blind man.
And they say that LBJ was a Soviet Jew.
I said that when I go down to Florida [ways],
They're ain't no kind of sexual healing that I would not, should not,
or could not do, except this right here:

Well I'm movin' down to Florida.
And you know that I'm gonna hafta potty train the chairman Mao.
And I'm gonna make the governor write my doodoo a letter, child.
And then I'm gonna grind me a White Castle slider out of India's sacred cow.

Well, I'm goin down to Florida, child.
And I'm gonna build me the atomic bomb.
I'm gonna hold time hostage down in Florida, child.
Ain't nobody - ain't nobody gonna tell me what to do. Stepchild.

By this time I guess you've figured out about Florida.
Turn the muddy water into Vaseline stains.
They be makin' tadpoles the size of Mercuries in Florida.
That be tellin' Julio Iglesias what to sing, now.
Well, whoever said that Sidney Poitier was a blind man,
Knew the same of Elvis Presley, too.
'cause all the sausages that dance like Ray Bolger on the hood of a car in a traffic jam
Know just exactly.. what to do. Right here:


Well I be goin' to Florida.
Pole cats sit back in the Seminole sand.
You know when I'm in Florida,
Just like Vince, I want it all.
Well I went down to Florida.
I got hurt.
So I took all the children down to Florida.
We start to get down in the dirt.
Well I'm never going back to Florida
That's why I'm movin today
When I settle down in Florida,
I'm gonna explode the whole damn Tampa Bay.
Get that boy to Florida,
And teach him what to do.