(No More) Wet T-shirt Contests Lyrics

All right
Danny, what do you wanna hear?
Send in the clown
For my boy Danny what's it here?
Send in the clowns
You want the Manilow version?

I'm tired of chewin' on your toenail
I'm tired of listenin' to your band
I'm tired of pullin' on your pigtail
Just wanna play poker like a man
One day I'll have a house in Florida
With a little dog in the yard
I play piano in a beauty parlor
Put my costumes on my card, yeah

No more wet t-shirt contests
No more singin' in a bar
Gonna put on my little black dress
Go out dancin' like a star, yeah

It's too late to call my brother Billy
He cut me off in ‘94
He joined a little church outside the city
He don't recognize me anymore
I wear my undies on the outside
Like a fallen woman in a pew
But I wear my undies with pride (ha ha ha)
What else am I supposed to do? Yeah

No more wet t-shirt contests
No more singin' in a bar
Gonna put on my little black dress, people, yeah
Go out dancin' like a star

I feel like my Christian phase is comin'
My fans are getting pretty bored
But meanwhile I just keep on hummin'
Here in the bosom of the Lord, yeah

No more wet t-shirt contests
No more singin' in a bar
Gonna put on my little black dress
Go out dancin', dancin' like a star, yeah

Hey
Here we go, babe
Keep it goin'
Settle on those clouds
Settle on those clouds, baby
Isn't it rich?
Isn't it rich?
Isn't it rich?
Hey, come on, keep goin'
Isn't it rich?
Isn't it rich?