Nothing But the Best Lyrics

We chose her chromosomes from a mail order vendor
Intelligence and disposition, color, race and gender
We started interviewing for a surrogate womb
We had The Hilton build us a delivery room
And when the moment came, We shouted, "Camera Three, Zoom"
Yeah

She's been with William Morris since the second trimester
We sent a contribution and the Vatican blessed her
She wore Versace diapers and a Givenchy bib
We kept a tape of L. Ron Hubbard playing in her crib
We had a plastic surgeon take out her seventh rib

Nothing But The Best
For our little girl
Guatemalan nanny and an all-terrain stroller

Nothing But The Best
For our little girl
Home where she belongs
To us

We hired Tony Little as her personal trainer
We found an orthodontist and we kept him on retainer
We made her take the Mensa test until she got in
And when she got the flu, we took her to Benny Hinn
She learned sex education reading Anais Nin
Yeah

We released her high school record as a single and it charted
We made her finish finishing school before she even started
We sanitized her bedroom and we vacuumed her thighs
We sent her off to college with collagen in her eyes
Said, "Don't come back until you win The Pulitzer Prize"

Nothing But The Best
For our little girl
Live in psychic and designer tranquilizers

Nothing But The Best
For our little girl
Home where she belongs
To us

We hired a private eye to let us know what she does
We bought a third world country for her, just because
We think she's something else
She says she wishes she was

Nothing But The Best
For our little girl
Primal scream coaching and The Betty Ford Clinic

Nothing But The Best
For our little girl
Home where she belongs

We're never home where she belongs
To us

Nothing But the Best
For our little girl ...

Nothing But the Best For our little girl ...

Nothing But the Best For our little girl ...