Rasputin vs. Stalin Lyrics

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
RASPUTIN!
VERSUS!
STALIN!
BEGIN

Rasputin:
Nice mustache, Wario!
Try messing with the mad monk, you'll be sorry-yo
How many dictators does it take
To turn an empire into a union of ruinous states
Its a disgrace what you did to your own people
Your daddy beat you like a dog and now you're evil!
You're from Georgia, Sweet Georgia
But the history books unfold ya
As a messed up motherfucker bent in the mind
Who built a superpower but then paid the price
With the endless destruction of Russian lives!
If you're the Man of Steel, I spit Kryptonite!
Big dicked Mystic, known to hypnotize!
I could end you with a whisper to your wife

Stalin:
Look into my eyes you perverted witch!
See the soul of the man who made Mother Russia his bitch
You think I give a fuck about my wife?
My own son got locked up in prison and I didnt save is life
You got off easy when they pickled that moose cock!
I leave your neck in a noose in a trench and shot!
Your whole family: SHOT! All your wizard friends: SHOT!
Anyone who sold you pirogi: SHOT!
Starve you for days until you waste away
I even crushed motherfuckers when im laid in state
Pride of Lenin took Trotsky out the picture
Drop a hammer on you harder than I bitch slapped Hitler!

Lenin:
I have no pride for you!
You ruined everything my revolution was doing to stop the Bourgeois
I fought the bondage of classes! The proletariat masses
have brought me here to spit a thesis against both of your asses!
Lemme start with you there! Frankenstein!
Looking like something out of R.L. Stein!
Its hip hop chowder, red over white!
Because the czar's wife cant do shit tonight!
And Joseph, you were supposed to be my right hand man
But your loyalty shriveled up like your right hand, man!
My whole future was bright! You let your heart grow dark!
And stopped the greatest revolution since the birth of Marx!

Gorbachev:
Knock Knock Knock! Did somebody say...Birthmarks?
Yo, Im the host with the most Glasnost
Assholes made a mess and the war got cold
Shook hands with both Ronalds, Reagan and McDonald, No doubt!
If your name ends win "In", its time to get out!
I have the balls to let Baryshnikov dance, Playa!
Tore down that wall like the Kool-Aid Man! OH YEAH!
You two need yoga! You need to shower
And you all need to learn how to handle true power!

Putin:
Did somebody say...True power?
DA! You wanna mess with me?
I spit hot Borsh when im crushing these beats
Blow you up like a tuba while im ballin' in cuba
Doing judo moves and schooling every communist Cyka
Im a president in my prime my enemies dont distract me
The last man who attacked me lived a half life so Comrade, come at me!
You dont know what you're doing
When you try to bust a rhyme against a mind like Putin
You'll find that the Ex-KGB is the best MC
in the XCCCP!