Reproduction Lyrics

[teacher]
The parts of a flower are so constructed
That very very often the wind will cause pollenation
If not, then a bee or any other nectar gathering
Creature can create the same situation
Yes, anything that gets
The pollon to the pistil
Is right on the list
I'll try to make it crystal clear
A flower's insatiable passion turns it's life into a circus of debauchery

Now you see just how the stamen
Gets it's lusty dust onto the stigma
And why this frantic chlorophyllus
Orgy starts in spring is no enigma
We call this quest for satisfaction a what, class?
[girls]
A photo-periodic reaction!
[teacher]
Oh, that's good! That's very good!
[Johnny]
Hey I'm lost! Where are we?
[girl]
Chapter Two!
[Goose]
Page five.

[all]
Reproduction! Reproduction!
[girl]
Put your pollen tube to work!
[all]
Reproduction! Reproduction!
[girl]
Make my stamen to berzerk!
[all]
Reproduction!
[girl]
I don't think they even know what a pistil is!
[Johnny]
I got your pistil right here.
[Goose]
Where does the pollen go?

[teacher]
In this chapter, in an abstract way the same thing applies
To the reproductive organs of a more complex life form
But now we are dealing with sexual response
Are there any questions before we begin reading?

[guy]
Is it possible the female member of some sex on a couch
Could, like, get this guy all hot and she never even knew it?
[another guy]
When a warm blooded mammal in a tight little sweater
Starts pulling that stuff, she's saying that she wants to do it?
[some other guy]
Can't prove it by me!
Cuz they change their tune when you get 'em in the backseat
[guy]
With his heart beatin' fast
[girls]
They make it sound like a track meet! Gross!
[guys]
Yeah, then all they can do is say, "No no no no no no no no no!"

[all]
Reproduction! Reproduction!
[girls imitating guys]
Baby, give it to me now!
[all]
Reproduction! Reproduction!
[boys imitating girls]
Is that all you think about?
[all]
Reproduction!
[girls imitating guys]
Come on, baby, show me that you really love me so!
[nerd]
Oh, I think I'm gonna throw up!
[Goose]
Where does the pollen go?

[teacher]
The human is the only being capable of concioussly
Controlling its number of offspring
Are there any comments on this?

[Paulette]
Mr. Stuart, is it true that guys like you, you know, mature and all
Carry some protection with them for sexual occassions?

[Johnny]
What's the big deal? Can't a girl just do that thing in a book
Where she adds up the dates of her uh, whadya call it, mentalstration?

[girl]
Oh, thats really neat!

[another girl]
Yeah, what if a guy says the numbers don't add up, huh?

[girls]
Yeah, yeah, yeah!

[all]
Reproduction! Reproduction!
[girl]
Hope he's proud of what he's done!
[all]
Reproduction! Reproduction!
[guy]
He was only poking fun!
[all]
Reproduction!
[Louis]
See what happens when a boy and girl don't know how to play it safe.

Reproduction! Reproduction!
Reproduction! Reproduction!
Reproduction! Reproduction!
Reproduction!
[Goose]
Where does the pollen go?