Rhubarb Tart Lyrics

I want another slice of rhubarb tart.
I want another lovely slice.
I'm not disparaging the blueberry pie,
But rhubarb tart is, oh, so very nice.
A rhubarb what? A rhubarb tart!
A what-barb tart? A rhubarb tart!
I want another slice of rhubarb tart!

The principles of modern philosophy
Were postulated by Descartes.
Discarding everything he wasn't certain of,
He said 'I think, therefore I am a rhubarb tart'.
A rhubarb what? A rhubarb tart!
A René who? René Descartes!
Poor nut, he thought he was a rhubarb tart!

Read all the existentialist philosophers,
Like Schopenhauer and Jean-Paul Sartre.
Even Martin Heidegger agrees on one thing:
Eternal happiness is rhubarb tart.
A rhubarb what? A rhubarb tart!
A Jean-Paul who? A Jean-Paul Sartre!
Eternal happiness is rhubarb tart.

A rhubarb tart has fascinated all the poets,
Especially the immortal bard.
He caused Richard the Third to call on Bosworth Field:
'My kingdom for a slice of rhubarb tart!'
A rhubarb what? A rhubarb bard!
Immortal what? Immortal tart!
As rhymes go, that is really pretty bard!