Roland The Roadie And Gertrude The Groupie Lyrics

(SPOKEN INTRO: Now Roland the Roadie was only a toadie
Who set up the lights and the mikes for the show
And Gertrude the Groupie was a rock 'n roll fan
Who stood by the stage door in the rains and the snows.)

Roland the Roadie met Gertrude the Groupie
At a rock concert back in Bayonne.
He tried to seduce her, said he'd introduce her
To all of the Beatles and Stones.

Roland the Roadie got Gertrude the Groupie
A seat in the balcony above.
And Gertrude the Groupie felt grateful and groovy
But Roland the Roadie felt love...

CHORUS:
And some folks love ham hocks
And some folks love pork chops
And some folks love vegetable soup
And Roland the Roadie loves Gertrude the Groupie
But Gertrude the Groupie loves groups!

She stood up and screamed as the amber spot beamed
On her heroes so skinny and tall
With the eyelids so droopy, and Gertrude the Groupie
Knew she was in love with them all!

Roland the Roadie told Gertrude the Groupie
To wait, and he'd be her man
But while he dreamt of a rose-covered home
She was out with the group in the van

(interlude where Dennis shouts: Gertie...Gertie!
I know you're in there, baby--
The whole trailer's movin', baby!
What about me?
Gertie....Gertie?)

Now Roland the Roadie is back on the road
His heart has been broken again
And Gertrude the Groupie waits out in the cold
For the very next group to come in

CHORUS
And some folks love ham hocks
And some folks love pork chops
And some folks love vegetable soup
And Roland the Roadie loves Gertrude the Groupie
But Gertrude the Groupie loves groups...groups...groups..
(word repeats as Dennis laments: "she likes congos, trios, anybody,
baby!" and other ravings)