Santa's Sack Lyrics

When I was a little kunt I always used to stay
Over Grandma's house to wake up on Christmas Day
But one night I couldn't sleep so I snuck down the stairs
To see if Santa Claus had come with all the Christmas fayre
As I was peeping round the door I saw something weird
There was a flash of red and a big white bushy beard
But it wasn't Father Christmas I'd clapped eyes on there
It was Grandma's grommet minus underwear
Then I noticed Santa approaching Grandma's sack
He looked like he was on the verge of emptying his sack
He looked just like the pictures you see on Christmas cards
Except he had no trousers on and he was on the hard
The sexual act I witnessed was disturbing and unpleasant
But I didn't let him see me in case I didn't get any presents
I'd always been told that Santa came just once a year
But they did it up the front bum first, then did it up the rear

I saw my Granny fucking Santa Claus
He got it out and stuck it in her wrinkly barn doors
It made me feel messed up
I thought it was Grandad dressed up
Till I saw him watching, wanking in the corner

I saw my Granny fucking Santa Claus
He did her from the front and then he had her on all fours
It made me feel disturbed
But they seemed unperturbed
While poor old Grandad wanked off in the corner