Seven Deadly Finns Lyrics

Oh, the French girls with their strings of pearls
Think it's such a burning shame
That the local boys with their country joys
Never make them daisy chains

They're swapping disappointing incidents
While at the docks another ship pulls in
And suddenly the door breaks down [celebratory shouts]
It's the Seven Deadly Finns!

Oh soldiers and sailors
Have all been here before
Gigolos and governments
Have tumbled through that door

Because they need those French girls
With all their kiss-curls
And powder in their guns
And the Seven Finns with the deadly grins
Tend to measure beauty in tons

The first is a freak with a masochistic streak
And the second is a kitten up a tree
The third is a flirt with an awful print skirt
And the fourth is pretending to be ME

The fifth wears a mac and never turns his back
And the sixth never shows his eyes
But the Seventh Deadly Finn is so tall and slim
He shoulda never been with THOSE guys

Although variety is the spice of life
A steady rhythm is the sauce
Simplicity's the crucial thing
Systemically of course
(work it out like Norbert Weiner)

So when those French girls say to you
"Would you like your ashes raked?"
You'll have to take their word for it
It's the only thing to take

[Repeated, wild yodeling over fade-out]