Since I Gave Up Hope I Feel A Lot Better Lyrics

Enter the young idealist chasing dragons to slay
Exit the hustler packing up his M.B.A.
Freshmen scream in a classroom, was there a sound?
First degree in a vacuum, I'm on college ground
Took a class, big fun
Modern Ethics 101
First day learned why
Ethics really don't apply
Prof says, 'One trait
Takes us to a higher state
Drug free, pure bliss
Get your pencil, copy this'

Life unwinds like a cheap sweater
But since I gave up hope, I feel a lot better
And the truth gets blurred like a wet letter
But since I gave up hope, I feel a lot better

Top of the class sits Ernest, he was brightest and best
Till the professor lured him to the hopeless nest
Now he lives for the shortcut like a citizen should
Tells the class with a wink, 'Only the young die good'
He says, "Ideals? Uncouth!
Fatalism needs youth
Eat well, floss right
Keep the hungry out of sight
Save face - nip and tuck
Praise yourself and pass the buck
And don't forget the best advice
Everybody's got a price'

While the world winds down to a final prayer
Nothing soothes quicker than complete despair
I predict by dinner I won't even care
Since I gave up hope, I feel a lot better

Nazis plead in a courtroom, 'Pardon me, Boys'
Profits fall in a boardroom, did they make a noise?
Someone spreads an affliction, company's nice
Someone sells an addiction, puts your soul on ice
Half-wits knock heads
Candidates in double beds
Good guys defect
'I can't precisely recollect'
Teacher's pet theory's fine
If you're born without a spine
Can't you spell wrong?
Sing it to 'em, Papa John