Slow Things Down Lyrics

The office party was hardly where I wanted to be on Christmas Eve.
But I noticed, so I cleared my throat, Miss, pardon me,
I said to the girl I caught spiking, what I thought was a fifth of vodka into the holiday nog.
A smile graced her face, she whispered, No one needs to know
And pointed out where we stood: underneath the mistletoe.
I remember December was the coldest month.
Plenty of hats and coats for us to hide amongst.
In the office closet where she confessed;
This winter intercession secretary intern gig.
Has left her all work and no fun, she never thought she'd be taking this much dictation.
It was a gymnastics lesson, drunk and aggressive.
The case of toner cartridges her ass was resting on fell.
To her knees working her lips to hard, turning her hips begging the kids to play in the backyard.
She tied my arms apart with a belt and a scarf
and reached into my pocket so we could exchange our cards.
And I read 'Amy' she read 'Gene,' and in between her sighs she asked me,
why don't you give me a ring?'
Slow things down...
Let's slow things down.
Slow things down.
Baby, why can't we just, just slow things down.
Yeah Yeah
Let's slow things down.
Why can't we just, just please slow things down?
It's two years later, hit the brakes and re-evaluate her.
She lost her lease in April, knew that I could pay those faster.
She moved in in June and soon the bedroom would feel the wind-chill factor.
She groans, When you're at home, you're zoned, I want to talk to you dear,
but that God damned cellular phone's super glued to your ear.
She went out on her own and found a doctor who talked her into a case of Gotta Jones Syndrome.
She's depressed, 50 mil. of Percocet. That's not all, 30 mil. of Adderall.
What's next?
Anyone tell you about the Xanax effect, it's just like being alone only the bed's not cold.
And I said 'Amy,' she said, 'Gene.'
In between her sighs she asked me, why, why don't you give me a ring?
Slow things down...
Let's slow things down.
Slow things down.
Baby, why can't we just just slow things down.
Yeah Yeah
Let's slow things down.
Why can't we just, just please slow things down?

(Thanks to Tara for these lyrics)