SoundProof Van Lyrics

Come on, we're gonna go for a joyride

[chorus]
What do we take?
We take children!
What do we do?
Then we kill them!
Everyone in town knows who I am
Cuz I heart to get down in my soundproof van!

Children, when I say I love them
Doesn't mean I want to grab 'em and hug 'em
You should know
if you come to my town
You can find Ray and I
hanging by the playground
with our dark shades and thick mustaches
Screw getting laid,
stealing kids is our passion
This crime spree is just startin'
You're gonna see way more faces on the milk cartons
Your brats ain't safe out from under your roof
I can jack 'em anytime
cuz my van's soundproof
Little girls and boys
won't make any noise
the back of it is littered with old Burger King toys
They can scream all they want
and no one will know
Got a scratch in the glass
and one in the door
Rollin' dubs, bumpin' beats
that ain't my style
White van runnin' stealth
to steal your child

[chorus x2]
What do we take?
We take children!
What do we do?
Then we kill them!
Everyone in town knows who I am
Cuz I heart to get down in my soundproof van!

To make my van soundproof
I spent 36k
So I can abduct kids any time of day
I'm no pervert
I don't rape, just kill
Then I throw the little bastards on my barbecue grill
Tastes great with Dimetapp and A-1 sauce
Love to eat that stuff and watch Who's The Boss
Enough of that trash about Tony Danza,
this is supposed to be about my soundproof van
So let me tell you,
I've got enough room in this thing
to fit how many children?
At least 16
Now I got my van plan back on track
and I can ditch the ducktape behind the burlap sack
But I'm still stuck and I've got all of the tools
If you've got kids
better have 'em homeschooled
I steal kids up by the junglegym
and then I make lampshades outta their skin

[chorus]
What do we take?
We take children!
What do we do?
Then we kill them!
Everyone in town knows who I am
Cuz I heart to get down in my soundproof van!

Statutory Ray, y'all up in the place
been to the post office then you know my face
Ain't no stopping me
I've got case after case
each one involved a dispute about age
But I don't like to fuck 'em if they're under 16
I like to kill the little
bastards while I listen to Queen
I ain't no kind of pedophile
I'm with Wombstretcha
rockin' ghetto style
Hello, child, my name is Ray
and I'm here to ruin your goddamn day
Your parents told me to pick you up
or something like that,
whatever the fuck
Either way you're coming in
and you ain't getting out
you can scream, you can cry,
you can plead, you can shout
We don't take shit, hits brakes appeal
What do we take? (gotcha)
We take children!

[chorus]
What do we take?
We take children!
What do we do?
Then we kill them!
Everyone in town knows who I am
Cuz I heart to get down in my soundproof van!

Children!

We kill them!

Everyone in town knows who I am
Cuz I heart to get down in my soundproof van!

(Thanks to portlandforever for these lyrics)