Lyrics to Stephen King vs. Edgar Allen Poe
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
STEPHEN KING!
VERSUS!
EDGAR ALLEN POE!
BEGIN
Poe:
Once upon a midnight dreary, As I spit this weak and weary
I will choke this joker with a trochee 'till his cheeks are teary
But y'all dont hear me, All should fear me!
Ill forever be better, you'll never be near me
your books are as eerie as Beverly Cleary!
You're a faux Bram Stoker, So scram the show's over!
Your flow's so-so, Poe's Poems Pwn Posers!
I wrote em locked in a cage, while I sobbed in a rage
The Tell-Tale Heart beats soft in its grave while this jerk just beats off on a page!
King:
Oh, you wanna talk shop? You gothed out fop!
Go back to Hot Topic and shop for a top!
There's a melancholic alcoholic laughing stock
In the King's house, now watch the castle rock
Pouty little poet with an opiate affliction
Im a work-a-holic with a fiction addiction
Making dedicated readers shivery and jittery
Feel that rage and misery!
You better start Running Man, you're in deep poo, Poe
Im a mad dog, Fangs Shining, Cujo!
Tommy-Knock you down 'till you cant stand up
You're as soft as Po, the Kung Fu Panda
Racks on racks because I pen fat stacks of frightening writing, have you seen the pile?
I can even take a break from my routine style, crank out a shawshank or a Green Mile
Mask of the red death? Barely blood curtling!
Pit and the pendulum? Not even unnerving
Perving oin your first cousin when she's 13 years old?
Now THAT'S disturbing!
Poe:
Stephen, you pretend to do it
iv'e been really living through it
Like Misery and poverty and family woes
I see through you like panty hoes, Doing Chapelle and Simpson cameos!
Even if you're gripping on a weapon you better get to steppin' when you're messing with the horrorlord!
In a minute maybe i'm a hit him, cut him into ittie bitty bits and stuff him in the floor boards!
King:
Speaking of bored, you're the worst!
Dropped out of school but you cant drop a verse
I could have spent that time better
In 8 bars, I can write a whole best seller!
Im so prolific this sickly goblin wont be bothering
me Im on a clobbering spree
and ill be smacking you with any of the big thick books in my big dick bibliography
See im the author with the blood and gore lore galore That horrifies a reader to the core!
Fame? Money? Talent? Success? You'll always have less, Nevermore
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC- *Scream*-RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
Stephen King vs. Edgar Allen Poe Video:
STEPHEN KING!
VERSUS!
EDGAR ALLEN POE!
BEGIN
Poe:
Once upon a midnight dreary, As I spit this weak and weary
I will choke this joker with a trochee 'till his cheeks are teary
But y'all dont hear me, All should fear me!
Ill forever be better, you'll never be near me
your books are as eerie as Beverly Cleary!
You're a faux Bram Stoker, So scram the show's over!
Your flow's so-so, Poe's Poems Pwn Posers!
I wrote em locked in a cage, while I sobbed in a rage
The Tell-Tale Heart beats soft in its grave while this jerk just beats off on a page!
King:
Oh, you wanna talk shop? You gothed out fop!
Go back to Hot Topic and shop for a top!
There's a melancholic alcoholic laughing stock
In the King's house, now watch the castle rock
Pouty little poet with an opiate affliction
Im a work-a-holic with a fiction addiction
Making dedicated readers shivery and jittery
Feel that rage and misery!
You better start Running Man, you're in deep poo, Poe
Im a mad dog, Fangs Shining, Cujo!
Tommy-Knock you down 'till you cant stand up
You're as soft as Po, the Kung Fu Panda
Racks on racks because I pen fat stacks of frightening writing, have you seen the pile?
I can even take a break from my routine style, crank out a shawshank or a Green Mile
Mask of the red death? Barely blood curtling!
Pit and the pendulum? Not even unnerving
Perving oin your first cousin when she's 13 years old?
Now THAT'S disturbing!
Poe:
Stephen, you pretend to do it
iv'e been really living through it
Like Misery and poverty and family woes
I see through you like panty hoes, Doing Chapelle and Simpson cameos!
Even if you're gripping on a weapon you better get to steppin' when you're messing with the horrorlord!
In a minute maybe i'm a hit him, cut him into ittie bitty bits and stuff him in the floor boards!
King:
Speaking of bored, you're the worst!
Dropped out of school but you cant drop a verse
I could have spent that time better
In 8 bars, I can write a whole best seller!
Im so prolific this sickly goblin wont be bothering
me Im on a clobbering spree
and ill be smacking you with any of the big thick books in my big dick bibliography
See im the author with the blood and gore lore galore That horrifies a reader to the core!
Fame? Money? Talent? Success? You'll always have less, Nevermore
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC- *Scream*-RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
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