The Grand High Inquisitor Lyrics

She teaches the Defense Against the Dark Arts class
She'll make it impossible for you to pass
She's the meanest in her game
A witchy smile no charm can tame
She'll hex the warts right out of your very Hogwarts

Professor Umbridge, Professor Umbridge
She's taking away your broomstick
And taking away your wand
Professor Umbridge, Professor Umbridge
Vampires wear your sunscreen
You're going to feel a burn

Umbridge is the cruelest in Hogwarts now
A bite more deadly than a Basilisk, ow
Better learn to obey and hear what she's got to say
Decree 23 declares her to be...

High Inquisitor, High Inquisitor
The Blair Witch best move over
And make some room for her
High Inquisitor, High Inquisitor
She'll suck the joy right out of you like a hooded Dementor

She hates mermaids, centaurs, and all the half-breeds
She'll pluck them from this earth like Vernon plucks weeds
Don't try to fly or try to hide
For her army of snakes shall find
Her Inquisitorial Squad is just as potent as she is

She'll pass one thousand hundred million new rules
She won't stop there until she's wearing Dumbledore's shoes
By her decrees one must abide
For surely you will find
Detentions with her are bound to scar you

Headmistriss Umbridge, Headmistriss Umbridge
She's the slimiest toad like Wicked Witch of the East, South, North, and West
Headmistriss Umbridge, Headmistriss Umbridge
Eye of bat and tongue of dog
Something wicked this way comes