The Hogwarts Tonsil Hockey Team Lyrics

One, two
One, two, three, four!

Lavender Brown has been moving around
Her tongue about Ron Weasley's mouth
And it's grossing us out
Watching them play tonsil hockey

On the Quidditch Pitch
Krum's on his game
But Hermione says he's romantically lame
He's too aggressive with the puck for tonsil hockey

Well Cho Chang
Has been snogging around
When she locks lips the tears start pouring down
She's a second-string player at best
At tonsil hockey

Well we've been seeing Ginny with all these guys
We'd like to rip their heads off
And push their bodies aside
And then ask her to play for our tonsil hockey team