The Man Upstairs Lyrics

the guy upstairs is such a freak
five years now i've had a leak
and what does he do up there?
all day long, he sleeps all day
and he goes out and comes home in the most intoxicated way
as far as i can tell, he juggles bowling balls
and he's not good at it
he moves his furniture
and at six a.m. he pulls out the vacuum cleaner to suck his room
the guy downstairs is also crazy
he spent some time in an institute
it did him not much good
he's off his medication
and he starts screaming 'virgin mary, you fucking alien.'
according to him, jesus christ smokes crack
and other sundry things
but it's the man upstairs who pulls the strings, won't let me sleep

please, kill that man upstairs
if you ever loved me, you'll do this one thing won't you sweetheart?
please, murder that man upstairs
if you want to be my friend, you'll have to prove you mean it

i used to think that rent control was a good idea
until i moved in here
now i'm the only sucker paying more than a hundred bucks a room
and i'm surrounded by lunatics who don't even need a moon
but it's the man upstairs who pulls the strings, won't let me sleep

please, kill that man upstairs
if you ever loved me, you'll do this one thing won't you sweetheart?
please, murder that fuck upstairs
if you want to be my friend, you'll have to prove you mean it

then there's a lady across the hall, who always knows what's going on
and machu pichu down the stairs
who's selling crack from door to door
14b are refugees, 14a transvestite whores
but you know who is coming home
he's falling up his drunken stairs

please, kill that man upstairs
if you ever loved me, you'll do this one thing won't you sweetheart?
please, murder that fuck upstairs
if you want to be my friend, you'll help me get a good night's sleep