The Mechanical Girl Lyrics

In the court of Augustine The Twelfth

The king reprimanded his men

And demanded they

Put to good use all his wealth to cure his deep ennui



For you see, he found that he was sad and lonely

Ever since his wife, the queen, got mad and

Rode off on his steed



In a glen beyond the castle wall

There was a tinker

And he was a thinker

The smartest man in all the world

He made a mechanical girl



For you see, his daughter passed away that summer

And though he knew he could not replace her

He missed his family



Suddenly a knock at the door went ra-ta-ta-ta-ta

And the kingsmen came in blowing horns ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba

"By order of His Highness

We're to take you and that...thing

To present your marvel to the king."



And so, over glen and through the castle walls

Over the moat, and into the great castle hall

When her master urged,

The robot girl emerged



When the king laid eyes upon the girl

He was delighted

His men all were knighted

He yelled aloud for all the world

"I'll take her for my queen!"



And the man screamed

"Please don't take my child!

I beg you, mighty king!"

And they grabbed him by his tailcoat

And threw him in the moat



Later in their wedding bed

The king was shocked to see

A tender kiss upon the cheek

Unleashed an armory

Rocket launchers and flamethrowing guns

Grew from her sides

And she grew to seven times her size



Run!



On the morn of August twenty-fourth

He was dejected when lest he expected

A knock was heard upon the door

It was his robot girl



For you see, he'd made her indestructible

It seems and she destroyed that awful kingdom

And they lived happily.



"So you see, the moral of the story is:

Never take a child away from a loving parent

Especially not ones who make children who shoot rockets from their eyes"