The Toronto Song Lyrics

I hate the Sky Dome and the Cn Tower too. I hate Nathan Philps Square and the Ontario Zoo. The rent's too high, the air's unclean. The beaches are dirty and the people are mean and the women are big and the men are dumb and the children are loopy 'cause they live in a slum. The Water is polluted and the mayor's a dork. They dress real bad and they think they're New York in Toronto, Ontario.

[I]You know, actually, I think pretty much hate all of Ontario.
Oh yeah, me too.[/I]

I hate Thunder Bay and Ottawa, Kitchener, Windsor and Oshuwa. London sucks and the Great Lakes suck and Sarnia sucks and Turkey Point sucks.

I took a trip to Ontario to visit Brian Mullroney. He beat me up and he stole my pants and he put me in a tree. I went to see the Maple Leafs and got hit in the head with a puck. [I]I don't even know how they did it, I mean, I was playing the organ at the time.[/I]

Ontarioooooooooooo sucks.

[I]Yup. You know, actually, when I really think about it, I think I hate every gosh darn province and territory in, in our country.
Oh, except Alberta, eh?
Oh yeah, I love Alberta. You know, lots of cows, trees, rocks and dirt.
But...[/I]

I hate Newfoundland 'cause they talk so weird and Prince Edward Island is, too small. Nova Scotia's dumb 'cause it's the name of a bank. New Brunswick doesn't have a good mall.

Québec is revolting and it makes me mad. Ontario sucks, Ontario sucks.

[I]Manitoba's population density is 1.9 people per square kilometer. Isn't that stupid?[/I]

Saskatchewan is boring and the people are old and as for the Terriotories, they're too cold!

[I]And the only good thing about the province of British Columbia, is that it's right next to us[/I]

'Cause Albertaaaa doesn't suck. But Calgary doesssssss.