Toe To Toe With The HMO Lyrics

I have this problem with my toe And so I call my HMO With a referral from My primary care physician They say my call matters to them They?re like an old and trusted friend Except friends don?t make you ask Them for permission The recording on the phone Says Leave a message at the tone Tell us your name, your age, Your reason for submission So I describe my nail ingrown, Wax poetic on the phone This is a metaphor For the whole human condition Tender Sensitive Painful And now I?m listening to Brahms (music to keep the caller calm), Starting to see things from The stockholder?s perspective Should I stop thinking of myself While they are managing my health? While an accountant finds a treatment That?s cost-effective Hallelujah, I rejoice! Is this a living human voice talking to me Like I?m a sweet, annoying female I plead my best bureaucratese I would be down upon my knees ?Cept I?d be leaning on this poor, throbbing toenail Painful Purple Festering As for my coverage, they say no This is a pre-existing toe My policy excludes All things pre-existing So if I want the claim approved The toe will have to be removed Which they believe may keep The problem from persisting This makes my doctor quite irate Why should he have to amputate? In his opinion this condition could Be better handled And as for me?I don?t nkow I?d kinda like to keep the toe I spent a fortune on these Gorgeous Gucci sandals Sexy Size 6 Retail I have been waiting patiently Why aren?t you listening to me? Can't you see that it's Trying my endurance I?m only asking to be heard Hostage is such an ugly word I would much prefer Living Health Insurance I want the orthopedic shoe I want the Prozac® approved, too Managed care is managing To make me hostile You've put me off far too long I'll fix your ass; I'll write a song About a nine-toed woman Who goes postal Crazy Uzi Bell tower