Tyconderoga Lyrics

Ohhh. Dont tell me buster! Eh!
I'm gonna take my cars, to the family picnic.
Tell them what the hell went on last night.
Ohhhhhh....

Incoming!
That's the last thing I heard,
Before a bomb blew off my leg, before I had to go and beg...
For some medicine.
Let's turn up the speed, now
Hey I was in trouble, I was in a battle
And I was hurt, felt like my brains' been rattled
Here I come, with blood on my hands
I'm an old ass maaaannn!
It was the battle of Tyconderoga
I had a cheese sub on the sofa,
and it was delicious.
Those were the days that I misses.
And what about the missus? What did she say?
While I was gettin' stabbed she was home gettin' laid!
I was so far away
In Tyconderoga, Don't you know a
piece of shit when you see it,
That's the end of it.
Fucking A', here we go today!
On and on, the bullets rang
I got some shit, it tastes like Tang
Blast away to the Moooon!
I couldnt do it I was stuck in my room
Here they come, shooting at me
I nearly shit, but I did certainly pee,
Pissed my pants, broke my leg,
There's a mortar and I beg and I beg,
Please don't blow my leg off shatter my baallllss!
Ohhh it's not worth it at all!
And then it happened, someone starting stabbin'!!
Ahhhhhhhh!
Right into my back, but I got a library book
In my back that I didn't return
And it saved my life and that bastard burned.
Oh, and now it gets quiet...
Maybe I'm dead.
Maybe I'm gonna have a riot in bed.
With my handjobs, I'm old as hell.
That's alright, my ass still smells.

"It all happened at the company picnic?"

All at the picnic, it was a shit dick.
Let me stick it in one more time Sharlene.