Useless But Important Information Lyrics

I've got some useless but important information
Got a hot tip on a Philly in the third
Skyping with a pretty girl who lives half way around the world
Won't be long till everybody's heard

I have sworn and I cannot reveal my sources
I can tell you, though, that it's not Nancy Grace
I've been forced to change my plans, won't be traveling to Sudan
My destination could be out of space

Where am I bound, it don't matter
I could dial in half way 'cross the nation
What do I care of mindless chatter
All this useless and important information

There are camera crews for blocks outside her trailer
The whole thing's going viral as we sing
Are they fake or are they real, it's like her boyfriend cut a deal
She'll be dancing with the stars before the spring

You see, she spent her whole Katrina check on implants
Crisis over destiny for bill
Blue top or silicone, either way the money's gone
I guess there's more than one way to her bill

Who really cares, trillions twitter
I can't comprehend the titillation
Breaking news, world's in the shitter
Cover useless and important information

It all starts out in the ground
Till very clever men dig it up
Then wave, then they bury it again
Most comes from Africa and ends up in Fort Knox
Only gets its value from the guards and chains and locks
Pretty rocks

Where am I bound, it don't matter
I could dial in half way 'cross the nation
What do I care of mindless chatter
All this useless and important information

Where am I bound, it don't matter
Whole world is now imbued with Iraq fascination
If I were you, I'd just keep driving
As all this useless and important information

All this useless and important information
Useless, important, useless