Lyrics to Watch the Frog 3
Frog: Watch the Frog:
Me: What frog?
Frog: Oh.
Me: That's right.
Frog: It ain't the frog without Me:
Me: Heck, it ain't a network anymore.
Frog: What?
Me: You didn't hear the news?
Frog: I was fired in 2005. What happened?
Me: The WB folded last year.
Frog: They deserved it.
Me: Damn right. Nobody watched it anymore.
Frog: Nobody?
Me: Oh. I watched Charmed last year.
Frog: I thought you were scared of Alyssa Milano.
Me: No. It's Holly Marie Combs that scares Me.
Frog: Why?
Me: She could wrestle Hulk Hogan.
Frog: So you wrote an Alyssa Milano waltz?
Me: For Stupid Audio 3.0
Frog: I know. I was one of the 27 people who bought your CD.
Me: Thanks.
Frog: You're welcome:
Me: Whatcha been up to?
Frog: Not much since UPN folded last year.
Me: You were going to be the UPN frog?
Frog: I was for 2006 until it ... um ... croaked without Me:
Me: I'm glad WWE Smackdown made it to the CW.
Frog: Isn't that the Hee Haw Network?
Me: CW. What a stupid name:
Frog: They should reverse the letters.
Me: Why?
Frog: Because the shows are so crappy, they should call it the W-C!
Me: I heard that the WC can seat 15,000
Frog: Not all at once.
Me: Did you see Veronica Mars?
Frog: No, but I saw Suzy Saturn.
Me: Was she driving a ... Mercury?
Frog: Yes, and eating a Mars bar.
Me: Did she have the body of a Venus?
Frog: Yea, and her headlights were a big a Jupiter.
Me: Bet you she could have named that Nep...Tune.
Frog: Suzy should give me a ring sometime:
Me: So the WB Plutoed you two years ago?
Frog: Big mistake.
Me: So when you got fired from the WB, did you show them your...
Uranus?
Frog: CW sucks too. I'll try working for ABC.
Me: Forget it. It's a Mickey Mouse network.
Frog: Run by Goofy?
Me: They already have a Frog. They bought Kermit a few years ago.
Frog: Any other networks?
Me: NBC.
Frog: Nobody's watching it anymore. How about CBS?
Me: Too old.
Frog: Fox?
Me: A toad by the name of Rupert Murdoch is running it.
Frog: My Network TV.
Me: Too dumb of a name.
Frog: ION?
Me: Too weird of nane.
Frog: What should I do?
Me: Work for Apple.
Frog: Why?
Me: They're working on an .. iPad.
Frog: Very funny.
Me: Work for the presidential elections.
Frog: Why?
Me: At least you'll be employed on .. leap years.
Frog: OK. One more pun and you'll be sorry.
Me: Why? I didn't mean to ... ribbit in.
Frog: That does it!
Me: What are you going to do?
Frog: I'm going to tell you.
Me: OK. Go ahead.
Frog: I'm going to go crazy.
Me: You can't do that.
Frog: Why not?
Me: That act was already taken.
Frog: By who?
Crazy Frog: noises.
Me: That's who.
Frog: That jerk ruined my life.
Me: How?
Frog: I was this close to doing a ringtone, but the labels told me to...
Me: Hop on outta here!
Frog: And they signed the Crazy Frog instead?
Me: Yea.
Frog: That frog sucks.
Me: He had a few hit records in 2005.
Frog: I used to sing back in the day when people once sang real songs.
Me: Why can't you sing anymore?
Frog: Because I got a ... person ... in my throat.
Me: It's a good thing they didn't sign you.
Frog: Why?
Me: Because the Crazy Frog is now a has-been singer.
Frog: He was a one-hit wonder anyway.
Me: It got some airplay on DFSX.
Frog: You're kidding.
Me: It's true.
Frog: Can I work for you?
Me: No.
Frog: I need a job.
Me: DFSX has shut down.
Frog: Why?
Me: I sold it to Clear Channel, and they took it Top 40.
Frog: Why did you sell it?
Me: I thought they could deal with Sound Exchange and that
moron John Simson better, but the company dumped the comedy
music format after they bought it.
Frog: Clear Channel and Sound Exchange suck.
Me: Sure does.
Frog: Those bastards!
Me: Anything on TV?
Frog: I like South Park.
Me: Family Guy.
Frog: Simpsons.
Me: Robot Chicken.
Frog: Aqua Teen.
Me: King of the Hill
Frog: The Venture Brothers
Me: Harvey Birdman Attorney at Law
Frog: Squidbillies.
Me: 12 Ounce Mouse.
Frog: Futurama.
Me: American Dad.
Frog: Sealab 2021
Me: Space Ghost
Frog: Your Space Ghost song sucked.
Me: So does anything sung by Paris Hilton.
Frog: At least she's hot.
Me: Jessica Alba is way hotter.
Frog: Keira Knightly is the hottest hot in the world.
Me: No, she isn't.
Frog: Yes, she is.
Me: Isn't.
Frog: Is.
Me: Isn't.
Frog: Is, is, is, is, is, and is!
Me: Alright. Have it your way.
Frog: I told you so.
Me. So how are we going to end this sketch?
Frog: I don't know.
Me. Let's go to my bar.
Frog: I could use a drink.
Me: I have four rows of drinks.
Frog: What are they?
Me: Let's see, we have booze on first,
Bud's on second, a wine row's on third...
Frog: So what's on the fourth row?
Me: I dunno.
Both: THIRD BASE!
Watch the Frog 3 Video:
Me: What frog?
Frog: Oh.
Me: That's right.
Frog: It ain't the frog without Me:
Me: Heck, it ain't a network anymore.
Frog: What?
Me: You didn't hear the news?
Frog: I was fired in 2005. What happened?
Me: The WB folded last year.
Frog: They deserved it.
Me: Damn right. Nobody watched it anymore.
Frog: Nobody?
Me: Oh. I watched Charmed last year.
Frog: I thought you were scared of Alyssa Milano.
Me: No. It's Holly Marie Combs that scares Me.
Frog: Why?
Me: She could wrestle Hulk Hogan.
Frog: So you wrote an Alyssa Milano waltz?
Me: For Stupid Audio 3.0
Frog: I know. I was one of the 27 people who bought your CD.
Me: Thanks.
Frog: You're welcome:
Me: Whatcha been up to?
Frog: Not much since UPN folded last year.
Me: You were going to be the UPN frog?
Frog: I was for 2006 until it ... um ... croaked without Me:
Me: I'm glad WWE Smackdown made it to the CW.
Frog: Isn't that the Hee Haw Network?
Me: CW. What a stupid name:
Frog: They should reverse the letters.
Me: Why?
Frog: Because the shows are so crappy, they should call it the W-C!
Me: I heard that the WC can seat 15,000
Frog: Not all at once.
Me: Did you see Veronica Mars?
Frog: No, but I saw Suzy Saturn.
Me: Was she driving a ... Mercury?
Frog: Yes, and eating a Mars bar.
Me: Did she have the body of a Venus?
Frog: Yea, and her headlights were a big a Jupiter.
Me: Bet you she could have named that Nep...Tune.
Frog: Suzy should give me a ring sometime:
Me: So the WB Plutoed you two years ago?
Frog: Big mistake.
Me: So when you got fired from the WB, did you show them your...
Uranus?
Frog: CW sucks too. I'll try working for ABC.
Me: Forget it. It's a Mickey Mouse network.
Frog: Run by Goofy?
Me: They already have a Frog. They bought Kermit a few years ago.
Frog: Any other networks?
Me: NBC.
Frog: Nobody's watching it anymore. How about CBS?
Me: Too old.
Frog: Fox?
Me: A toad by the name of Rupert Murdoch is running it.
Frog: My Network TV.
Me: Too dumb of a name.
Frog: ION?
Me: Too weird of nane.
Frog: What should I do?
Me: Work for Apple.
Frog: Why?
Me: They're working on an .. iPad.
Frog: Very funny.
Me: Work for the presidential elections.
Frog: Why?
Me: At least you'll be employed on .. leap years.
Frog: OK. One more pun and you'll be sorry.
Me: Why? I didn't mean to ... ribbit in.
Frog: That does it!
Me: What are you going to do?
Frog: I'm going to tell you.
Me: OK. Go ahead.
Frog: I'm going to go crazy.
Me: You can't do that.
Frog: Why not?
Me: That act was already taken.
Frog: By who?
Crazy Frog: noises.
Me: That's who.
Frog: That jerk ruined my life.
Me: How?
Frog: I was this close to doing a ringtone, but the labels told me to...
Me: Hop on outta here!
Frog: And they signed the Crazy Frog instead?
Me: Yea.
Frog: That frog sucks.
Me: He had a few hit records in 2005.
Frog: I used to sing back in the day when people once sang real songs.
Me: Why can't you sing anymore?
Frog: Because I got a ... person ... in my throat.
Me: It's a good thing they didn't sign you.
Frog: Why?
Me: Because the Crazy Frog is now a has-been singer.
Frog: He was a one-hit wonder anyway.
Me: It got some airplay on DFSX.
Frog: You're kidding.
Me: It's true.
Frog: Can I work for you?
Me: No.
Frog: I need a job.
Me: DFSX has shut down.
Frog: Why?
Me: I sold it to Clear Channel, and they took it Top 40.
Frog: Why did you sell it?
Me: I thought they could deal with Sound Exchange and that
moron John Simson better, but the company dumped the comedy
music format after they bought it.
Frog: Clear Channel and Sound Exchange suck.
Me: Sure does.
Frog: Those bastards!
Me: Anything on TV?
Frog: I like South Park.
Me: Family Guy.
Frog: Simpsons.
Me: Robot Chicken.
Frog: Aqua Teen.
Me: King of the Hill
Frog: The Venture Brothers
Me: Harvey Birdman Attorney at Law
Frog: Squidbillies.
Me: 12 Ounce Mouse.
Frog: Futurama.
Me: American Dad.
Frog: Sealab 2021
Me: Space Ghost
Frog: Your Space Ghost song sucked.
Me: So does anything sung by Paris Hilton.
Frog: At least she's hot.
Me: Jessica Alba is way hotter.
Frog: Keira Knightly is the hottest hot in the world.
Me: No, she isn't.
Frog: Yes, she is.
Me: Isn't.
Frog: Is.
Me: Isn't.
Frog: Is, is, is, is, is, and is!
Me: Alright. Have it your way.
Frog: I told you so.
Me. So how are we going to end this sketch?
Frog: I don't know.
Me. Let's go to my bar.
Frog: I could use a drink.
Me: I have four rows of drinks.
Frog: What are they?
Me: Let's see, we have booze on first,
Bud's on second, a wine row's on third...
Frog: So what's on the fourth row?
Me: I dunno.
Both: THIRD BASE!
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