When I Paint Me Masterpiece Lyrics

Oh, the streets of Rome are filled with rubble,Ancient footprints are everywhere.You can almost think that you're seein' doubleOn a cold, dark night on the Spanish Stairs.Got to hurry on back to my hotel room,Where I've got me a date with Botticelli's niece.She promised that she'd be right there with meWhen I paint my masterpiece.Oh, the hours I've spent inside the Coliseum,Dodging lions and wastin' time.Oh, those mighty kings of the jungle, I could hardly stand to see 'em,Yes, it sure has been a long, hard climb.Train wheels runnin' through the back of my memory,When I ran on the hilltop following a pack of wild geese.Someday, everything is gonna be smooth like a rhapsodyWhen I paint my masterpiece.Sailin' 'round the world in a dirty gondola.Oh, to be back in the land of Coca-Cola!I left Rome and landed in Brussels,On a plane ride so bumpy that I almost cried.Clergymen in uniform and young girls pullin' muscles,Everyone was there to greet me when I stepped inside.Newspapermen eating candyHad to be held down by big police.Someday, everything is gonna be diff'rentWhen I paint my masterpiece.