Why Isn't There More Fucking On This Island? Lyrics

Lost leaves us with many unanswered questions
There are countless mysteries unsolved
But of the puzzles that confound
And the loose ends left unwound
One thing I wonder most of all

Why isn't there more fucking on this island?
You're on the best vacation of your life
I'd take Sayid and get everything I need
I don't care that he used to have a wife

Why isn't there more fucking on this island?
When everyone on it is so hot
Jack should stop debating, and start ejaculating
Take advantage of what little time he's got

And just fuck, fuck, fuck 'til the smoke monster takes you away
Fuck, fuck, fuck 'til you try to carry dynamite from Black Rock
Fuck, fuck, fuck 'til the tall lady from West Wing stabs you
Fuck, fuck, fuck 'til that guy forgets to push a button

Why isn't there more fucking on this island?
When you know you're never gonna leave
You're never getting off so you might as well get off
The babies all die so who cares if you conceive?

Why isn't there more fucking on this island?
Everyone's so careful with their heart
No need to commit, let them put you in a split
And hide their external body part

Fuck, fuck, fuck 'til you get between Michael and Walt
Fuck, fuck, fuck 'til your dad pretends not to love you
Fuck, fuck, fuck 'til you drown trying to do something selfless
Fuck, fuck, fuck 'til you're annoying and get buried alive

[Whit Hertford]
Why is there no fucking on this island?
Don't they know that they could have all this?
I should plow that ass before I smother them with gas
I'm evil but I still have needs

The girls here are so very, very pretty
And I also kinda like the dudes
Find some find fish to eat, then fill myself with meat
I'll say that Jacob told me to

Why isn't there more fucking on this island?
When you know you're probably gonna die
With carnage all around, all I'd wanna do is pound
You can crash your plane between my right thigh and my left thigh

Fuck, fuck, fuck 'til you fall down a well and set off a nuke
Fuck, fuck, fuck 'til you get crushed in a plane full of heroin
Fucl, fuck, fuck 'til time travel induces a fatal nosebleed
'Til you get strangled and your corpse is transported to the island, acting as a proxy for Jack's dad, then you're in another plane crash and you get impersonated by the smoke monster and leave a suicide note saying "If only you believed me"